"Seventy-five
percent of the high school students who will enter the workforce
have no idea what
the term 'inflation' means.
Sixty-six percent can't tell you what profits are. And 55% of
our young people have no understanding of what a 'government budget
deficit'
is."
Paul
C. O'Brien, president and CEO of New England Telephone
Self-mastery is essentially impossible if one is not willing to devote time to understanding the nature of the mind. For example, if you are in the habit of spending 30 minutes a day reading how the mind works, this supports self-mastery and personal success. If you have never read books on psychology or the philosophy of mind known as Buddhism, your ignorance acts as an immovable barrier impossible to overcome.
Self-Mastery Barrier 2: Habituation and
Habit Formation
"Men
like the opinions to which they have become accustomed from youth;
this prevents them from finding the truth, for they cling
to the opinions of habit."
Moses
Maimonides, 1135-1204, Egyptian physician and philosopher, Guide
for the Perplexed
Habituated thinking patterns develop like certain streets in Boston. In the older parts of the city, the streets follow the paths used by long dead cows to get between barn and pasture. The issue here that we tend to get "stuck" in a set behaviors and patterns of thought that do not support our pursuit of worldly success or self-mastery. For example, you still see adults throwing temper tantrums like they did when they were four years old.
It's
beauty that captures your attention and personality which captures
your heart.
Anonymous
Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. Elmer G. Letterman
Personality
traits are fixed at a young age. Since most organizational leaders aren't on a rigorous program of self-mastery, they exhibit these same traits throughout their life. If one is strong on self-esteem and self-improvement, these traits would support the drive toward self-mastery. But other traits such as self-destruction, self-indulgence and self-pity would have the opposite effect.
The Fourth
Self-Mastery Barrier: The Ego Defense Mechanisms
"The
nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."
Lucille S. Harper
The Ego is subject to a number of self-deceptions preventing self-mastery. Sigmund Freud many years ago observed that the Ego is a fragile entity requiring protection from anxiety.Typically it manifests as some type of stressful emotional state such as fear, guilt, embarrassment, anger, frustration, etc. Anxiety prevention takes many forms.
Even the little things in life can activate an Ego defense mechanism. A frown from a superior, criticism from the spouse, getting angry at the person who bumped into you are a few examples. Sadly, once these mechanisms are engaged, the mind does not properly process the information it receives.
For example, the defensive mechanism of repression can keep cigarette smokers from thinking about heart disease and lung cancer. Denial keeps the executives from working a problem affecting the entire organization. Rationalization makes our frailties acceptable. In all, there are over 20 of these mechanisms, most of them operating beyond conscious self-awareness.
Self-Mastery Barrier Five: Negative
Self-Talk
"Those
who have emotional problems engage in negative self-talk about
50 percent of the time."
Schwartz,
R. M. (1986). The "internal
dialogue:" On the asymmetry between positive and negative coping
thoughts. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 10, 591-605.
Thoughts have a great impact on the emotions, feelings or states of mind that is operate at any given moment of time. For example, the person who thinks, "I'm not happy," typically feels that way.
For example, in the morning, do you think about the upcoming day in positive or negative terms? Do you have negative thoughts such as "I know I'm going to have a bad day; I'm sure I'm going to screw something up; I know I'm going to get yelled at?" Or do you tend to think about the positive?
For some reason, few people admit that they talk to themselves or understand the critical nature of this internal dialogue.
Self-Mastery Barrier Six: Homeostasis
The
mind acts like a
rubber band that when stretched, tends
to snap back to the way it was.
It's hard to build new mental or behavioral habits--and extremely difficult to stop an old habit and substitute a new one. This means that one-time bursts of motivation tend to produce little lasting effect. It's safe to assume that new changes will be resisted by the motivational forces supporting the status quo (homeostasis).
Self-Mastery Barrier Seven: Arrested Development
Few who exercise power are wise.
M. Johannsen
While this observation will generate controversy, many powerful leaders have immature Egos. Arrested development essentially means that Ego growth has stopped prematurely. There are many symptoms one can experience.
One symptom of this immaturity is the leader who cannot control their emotions. Another is a boss who blames others while failing to look at their own personal contribution to the problem. A third symptom is someone with high IQ but low emotional intelligence, etc., etc., etc.
Self-Mastery Barrier Eight: Cognitive Dissonance
For half a century, social psychologists have been trying to figure out the human gift for rationalizing irrational behavior. Why did we evolve with brains that salute our shrewdness for buying the neon yellow car with bad gas mileage?
John Tierney, International Herald Tribune
Cognitive dissonance commonly operates as an unconscious mechanism and so is difficult to detect. It is associated with buyers remorse and purchasers regret when it comes to making important purchases. More importantly, it provides insight into why we take pride in our stupid decisions.
Self-Mastery Barrier Nine: Failure to Understand the Language of the Unconscious
"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
—Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
The Ego sits in an isolation bubble of its own creation. It acts like a king or queen in a throne room, blissfully unaware to what's happening outside the castle.
The reason the ruler has no new clothes, is it never learned the symbolic, metaphoric language of the unconscious and how to access unconscious insights and resources.
Self-Mastery Barrier Ten: Failure to Master Negative Emotions and States of Mind
The study found that 26% of new hires fail because they can't accept feedback, 23% because they're unable to understand and manage emotions, 17% because they lack the necessary motivation to excel, 15% because they have the wrong temperament for the job, and only 11% because they lack the necessary technical skills.
Why New Hires Fail. Leadership IQ Press Release, 2005
It’s amazing so many individuals give others the ability to control their emotions. How many times have your heard someone say, "You made me angry!"
Of course, it’s normally not another person’s fault that we lack emotional control. I remember a friend saying once, "I'm in perfect control of my emotions. If I get angry, I only stay angry for three days."
Self-Mastery Barrier Eleven: Poor Attention Management and Self-Awareness
If you don't get the reader's attention in the first paragraph, the rest of your message is lost.
Public relations maxim
One must properly focus attention to process any type of information. It is a common complaint among the managed that their manager, "Doesn't listen to me." In some respects, listening is a terribly difficult thing to do since it requires a great deal of mental energy. Plus, attention is in sort supply so we often miss key facts, concepts and principles.
Self-Mastery Barrier Twelve: Not Understanding Dreams and Myths
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
John Barrymore
While there are a few neurophysiologists who believe that dreams are the result of random neuronal firings, the mainstream psychologists believe that dreams have important messages—hidden meaning the Ego typically ignores.
Similarly, one should understand that myths and fairy tales also contain hidden meanings—meanings helpful in understanding the true nature of a nation's culture.
Conclusion
The good news if one knows what one is doing, barriers can be overcome. I remember a saying by Bror Carlson who said, “A problem that is located and identified is already half solved.” By understanding the nature of the problem, we are well on the way to greater self-mastery and personal success.
Decrease your success barriers with self-improvement coaching:
